rosalia

RPoL obsession... still going strong.

Outcastes, I am starting to feel better about again since moving the game onto a more interesting encounter.

Five Coils, I already have 8 players for, wtf? Well, technically 7. But it is SO not hard to find players. And yeah, that includes at least halfway decent ones. For that game I pretty much personally asked people to join, I got a yes from all but one.

Hmm. I think I am not all that sucky at this after all. Problem is that all I do now is RPoL, and almost NOTHING ELSE. I kinda worry I don't give myself other things to pay attention to or do. Jon keeps saying it's ok... because it makes me happy, and barring being able to do ANYTHING else about my situation of complete life stagnation and NO good news in the mail, that's pretty much the best I can do to stay sane.

Well I don't want to think about the crap right now. So moving on...

Mostly I was playing DR yesterday (and this early morning). Oh, and I did play a bit of Rosalia with Nekira, too. There was a week timeskip so now she's noticing her servants getting ominously ill... dun dun dun!

At one point in the afternoon I came on to reboot and totally forgot to actually do the reboot. *boggle* Ah well. Also meant I wasn't on anything but AIM all day.

I think I'm suffering some pretty severe stress symptoms right now. Like... my chest feels like there's pressure sitting on it. My shoulders are strained and sometimes I can't feel my extremities on my left side. I went out to take a walk earlier in the day and the combination of stress and heat made me so lightheaded I had to turn back.

So I guess I really just need to rest and have some time to myself, again. I may even see a doctor if this continues beyond the next couple days, despite the fact I don't even have my health insurance set up yet. Just feeling really bad right now.

Had to cancel Emberdays session. :/ Things were going bad for a while, until late this afternoon.

I'll explain later, maybe. I'm not sure yet how much I want to explain of it. I'm mostly okay, though. I just need some time to myself right now. =_= I'ma also needing to work on Reborn Again RP info, so that'll distract me for much of the week. :O I'm trying to find a hardbound copy of BESM 3rd, which would speed up my working on it significantly.

Anyway, what I've been working on lately... another RPoL character! And you thought I was tired of those.

Huntress of the Seven Plagues - Day Caste Abyssal. Plague-bearer (as per the Debility? I think? But made into a merit) and stealthy archer-type. She's also App 1, due to nasty plague scars. Yes, I'm playing ugly! But not App 0 ugly.

I'm realizing I really like the RPoL tools. It's a pretty good system to run tabletop games by forum. I think I'm pretty much sold on using it for my Exalted forum game, unless I could find a way to install their software on my server (ha, yeah right...)

It takes a lil getting used to, but things like being able to create custom groups (i.e. if your PCs split into smaller groups, everyone won't necessarily see what the others are doing if you set the permissions right) and having a built in die roller. The roller has privacy settings, accounts for many different types of tabletop systems, and even options for GMs to fudge rolls. So, it's cool :O

The ONLY complaint I have is that the games are rather slow. But, it's the sort of pace I can definitely keep up if I'm going to college or working, or even just doing my own projects and things (which as you know can take a lot of my time as well).

Okay... I feel less cranky today. :O

First of all, found a new Soul Collectors player. And I actually got a better time for SC... every other Saturday at 4PM. I'll make sure it ends before my usually nightly stuff (PSU, or 1890s game).

Saturday just ended up being better in general, since people are at work and school on weekdays, and I also have a European player who needs to sleep by 9 PM my time. I just happen to have that afternoon time free, since I left ADoA, and it'd only take half my Saturdays anyway. So I thought, "why not?"

The new SC player is going to play a Redsid, so, now I've got 2 Sids, 2 Solars and an Abby (...walk into a bar... uh, just kidding! :D) I'm going to have a Lunar character as backup, so that covers that base, especially if one of the players drops or something. So I guess that's that!

The game starts May 24th now. n.n So I can relax a while, catch up on sleep. That's *definitely* good.

Well, yesterday I was supposed to RP with Nekira, my first game with Rosalia! But it ended up getting cut short 'cause I had to finalize my sheet in the afternoon (took FOREVER to figure out my Legends) -- and then, when we finally GOT started, Nekira ended up having computer problems while we had a dinner break. Oops. ^^; We still talked a lot, though, and the few posts she got through were fun and descriptive, so I'm looking forward to more.

Also, the sudden end of Nekigame (it has another name, probably... but I'm not sure what it is yet :D) gave me the time to do Talliska's interview with the Order of the White Rose. :o Apparently she did pretty well, from the reaction I got. I got to meet Mialeigh in game some time after that too, which is awesome! Mialeigh rules! :D I missed her and her player, too, whom I've been chatting with more lately on AIM. Our lives have changed and progressed a lot, but we still chat as easily as if it was 3 years ago. I LOVE that.

So I'm more or less finished with Rosalia's sheet [Edit: Fixed this link] -- the non-Abyssal version, anyway. It took SO LONG, though the majority of it was writing her Legends and her harp artifact. I actually love the harp. :D But mechanically, it was hard to figure out rules for. This is one of those moments is where freeform would be better. =_=

Other parts of the sheet I really like: Rosalia's servants, and the bio I wrote for her. :O The Hearthstone is nice -- but I like my idea for her second Hearthstone (which unlike the Stone of Springtime will be from an Underworld Manse) even better.

I pulled an all-nighter to finish all I wrote. Nekira said she loved the sheet, though, and didn't have any immediate issues with it. So, I'm happy.

Jon and I brought some picnicky food and sat on some benches overlooking the St. Lawrence, between the long stairway leading up past the docks. It was relaxing and indeed as warm as the weather report promised! I sat there scribbling notes for Rosalia while Jon played Shiren the Wanderer (Eni: he says it's really hard. Like, possibly tediously hard, what with death being very punishing, making you start over at level 1 and all.)

Now that I'm back, I was going to type out my Rosalia stuff, and saw that Dokuwiki version DarksirenWiki is running needed updating. The notifications would have bugged me all through the sheet typing if I didn't upload the new version, so I did. But I think I am going to save upgrading Kalli's wiki till the current release is no longer a release candidate. :O

I was going to spend tonight working on Rosalia's sheet, but once again, I was thwarted. :/ Deadlines and weariness aside, friends > RP and I really wanted to be there to talk.

I've seen with my own eyes, and lived with my own experience, how much damage depression can do to a person's life -- and sometimes, the lives of others, too. I understand all too well the self-destructive urge, but I have the wisdom of many years of self-analysis and a husband who just never quit when it comes to making me face the *truth* of my condition. I honestly consider myself lucky that I've had these years to think about myself and what's really wrong with me. Many people with my condition never get that far -- they only continue to blame themselves, and believe that everything that goes wrong in their life is their just desserts.

I tried to stay up till 8 am writing out stuff for Ember Days and I didn't even finish it all. I'm all ticked off again. I was forced to postpone because I was too damn tired and sick when I woke up. Jon kept nagging me to just go back to bed. D: So in the end I did. x.x

I didn't really have a choice anyway, because when I've got like... 20+ outfits to conceptualize and I've not written a single one, and I've got to come up with all that on the spot while my head is throbbing and I'm cranky and nodding off in my chair, it's just NOT going to work. Sure, I wasn't planning to do most of the outfits in much detail, but I still had to at least write cues for myself, plus the detailed ones for the GMPC (Sana), the accompanying NPCs (Elyssa, Najira and Lotus... though I already wrote Lotus's in a previous scene) and the host (Mnemon Daran, who is an elder Earth Aspect closing in on 200 years old, and I think is going to be a rather interesting character, at least to me).