kalli

Hrmmm... tomorrow I may be going out for the whole day! gasp! (well, today, now). Nothing big, just going to walk around and stuff. Maybe do a lil' shopping. And go out for dinner. It snowed yesterday though, so I'm expecting it to be cold!

I feel a little apprehensive leaving my RPoL games for too long, mostly because I still have that leftover, paranoic worry that people will forget about them if I don't post. Usually, though, even if I'm gone a day I can still post before bed. o.o

Right now I have three games, too. Three RPoL games is not *that* much in comparison to three real time games. But it can be a lot of work.

I was able to get Grey to join Five Coils, which makes me all happy!!! I am kinda nervous whether he will like it -- he's coming back to forum gaming after years away from it. But we'll see. I ended up accepting more players than I thought so I have people to fall back on if someone ends up not liking it or dropping.

In RP, anyway. I've been playing Huntress in my Abby RPoL game again and it's *really* cathartic right now. Particularly the hunting, killing and eating mortals part. Hmm, sounds kind of Digital Devil Saga-ish. :P

But I've just had a really rough day. REALLY rough. "I want to crawl into a hole and die" rough. I've got this all-consuming rage inside me for the continued delays on my documents, and I feel constantly stifled from expressing it because Jon wants me to RATIONALIZE. And he asks me why I ask him all these questions and put him on the spot -- well, he's the one handling all those responsibilities, so who else am I supposed to ask? He has the gall to suggest I take care of it myself, when if I was in a state to do so (i.e. not anxious, etc.) I would have done it myself *from the start*.

I've been working at reorganizing tags *again*. This is version 4.0, since I ended up expanding a lot from the 3.0 I wrote earlier.

I still have to go through 700-odd entries to resort everything. ;.; But I have the basic layout MOSTLY figured out.

Also, amusingly, when I switched out "Outing" as a category, the tagcloud block (which, by the way, has exactly 23 tags in it) finally ended up displaying the "kalli" tag. :D Admittedly, I don't know what will happen after I'm finally done going through all the entries and retagging them... flushing the cache may change the positions on the cloud all over again. ^^;

So, here's an overview of what I changed...

Now to continue my "let's not stay inside and be a hermit" efforts, I'm going out again today. Hopefully I will be in a good mood this time. I'm wearing clothes I like and I feel ok (I even got a decent face wash so my face feels clean) and my ear infection is going away.

I always feel kind of silly posting about "OOH I'M GOING OUT" but as I've said before, for me this is often a big thing. My mix of depression and anxiety leads to agoraphobic tendencies (especially now, while I'm still waiting on various papers and IDs) at times, and I have to fight that a lot so I don't end up languishing away indoors.

Anyway, I'm mostly going out to get a sound card for my computer. And I think we may go out to eat and see a movie cause we never got to last time. I'm going to be back by the time Kalli finishes work (hehe, 10 pm is "Kalli finishes work hour" now.) She wanted to play Last Chaos with us -- though OOH, she's going to be able to renew DR very soon now! I was telling Terra I was starting to get a little DR-apathetic, and having her in game again would TOTALLY reverse that for me.

*goes before it gets too late* :O

My headache's been coming back lately. It's not just any old headache. It feels like the left half of my face is just wearing out. Kind of like the pains I used to have in my chest but now they're just on my face. It hurts enough that it's hard to keep my eyes open sometimes. And now and then it still twinges with stabbing pains.

I think that it's stress related, because the symptoms get worse when I'm stressed. I'm not sure, though... it could also be that whatever I have gets exacerbated by stress. :/ The bank stuff earlier did NOT help my state at all and so I've been practically useless and invisible to everyone. I'm really sorry. :(

Yesterday wasn't really as productive as I would've liked it to be, mostly because I was too much in pain to do anything significant. My headache put me to sleep during the afternoon so I snored there for a long portion of the day. :P

Jon had bought me some sinus medication while I was sleeping, so I took some and was pretty much weird and lightheaded most of the night. I was chatting to Kalli about all sorts of stuff and she actually thought I sounded "stoned". Haha. "Welcome to the world of drugs" she kept saying. Oh boy. ^^; I admit it was fun to be all giggly and elated while reading excerpts from Kalli's very awesome Tiv/Kssarh fic, but it was also disconcerting to have trouble focusing on things I was trying to work on. :/

Oh, not long before I went to bed, Eni left for the hospital. I talked to her a lot about the time I went for surgery (my thymectomy) to try to appease her. I think she was fairly calm, all things considered, by the time she left. So that made me feel good, at least. *hugs Eni from afar*

Okay so I have a sinus headache, I'm pretty sure that's what it is now. And it sucks. :( Eni and Selina talked about saline rinses and I was all "nuuuuu don'wanna." The idea of sticking liquid in my nose voluntarily boggles my mind. Makes me think I'm making myself drown. x.x

On the other hand, it's neither tolerable nor realistic to have this kind of chronic pain long term. So either the meds I get tomorrow help or it's salt water for me. D:

What else... uh. I totally blanked on what I wanted to write about. I've been sitting here with Kalli, coming up with amusing DR pairings. I got her to start writing Tiv/Kssarh (for srs!) and she just can't stop. Now she's tempting me into writing another pairing that, my god, would get me burned on the stake for considering. :D So it is a sekrit!

I started yet another version of my tag reform, but it's not finished, and I'm too tired to work on it now. n.n Also, RPoL was down for most of today. :( :( My RP fix!! So I hope to get much tag-sorting and RP posting after my errands for tomorrow are done!

This was yet another uneventful day (in terms of getting offline / non-computer related things done) and so I feel pretty bad about that. I did start my tag rearranging but got stuck again with the usual issues -- usually it's something about how to differentiate characters I make vs. character obsessions, and where to put 'Artwork' or perhaps 'Pictures', since the Creativity category is supposed to be for things I create, and I'm no visual artist.

Yeah, dumb nitpicky things, but they're important to me. :/

I've been feeling badly lately, too, because Kalli has been telling me all about her progress going outside more often, getting a job and such, and I've been doing so very little.

Teehee. RPing relationships between characters with my husband is like falling in love all over again. I swear, it ought to be a technique for gamer couples to keep the romance alive. ^^; (And I apologize for how utterly dorky that sounds.)

My characterization of Iyadali, I think, borrows a bit from the witches of Ursula K. Le Guin's Earthsea, and a bit from Wheel of Time as well (though Iya and her culture are definitely not as irritating as the Sea Folk can be.)

I also have to admit to taking a tiny bit of a cue from Nynaeve and Lan -- sort of. :O

We finally got 'net set up here today. Sheesh, took a while. The cable guys had to actually drop a wire from the rooftop, drill holes through our walls, and staple the wire along our ceilings. And it took 'em a few days to figure out how.

We don't even have PHONE yet. n.n On the other hand, I did hear from Kalli, today!! Turns out her phone just wasn't working at all where she moved. *sadface* BUT she ended up moving in with her uncle who has net access. :O So it looks like I'll get to see her now and then online when her uncle's girlfriend isn't using her comp. This is very awesome!

I have a lot to write about but I'll have to do it later. Going to take a walk (I've been exercising lately!) Let me tell you, Montreal is such a relief for me... there's stores open till 9 pm or even later over here, every day! It feels more like where I *used* to live, but it's different. It's amazing how truly bilingual it is here, too.

Oh and check out my status. I'm playing FF12 again! GASP! And I finished watching Gundam Seed. I want to watch more Gundam series now. n.n