I said I would do it so here it is. :D No actual nekroz were trained to make this log happen. XD

(also DR nerd alert)

Me (8:32:37 AM): the first rule of necromancer club is, you don't talk about necromancer club.
Me (8:32:38 AM): <.<
Kalli (8:32:51 AM): thank you
Kalli (8:32:52 AM): because
Kalli (8:32:56 AM): my drink is now all over my lap
Kalli (8:33:00 AM): and i can't stop laughing
Me (8:33:01 AM): *cackles*
Kalli (8:33:07 AM): THANK GOD IT'S WATER
Me (8:33:12 AM): Hee
Me (8:33:14 AM): sorry XD
Kalli (8:33:16 AM): I look like i peed myself laughing
Kalli (8:33:19 AM): xD
Me (8:33:32 AM): ok now I'm LOLing
Me (8:33:37 AM): :D
Kalli (8:33:38 AM): I HAVE NO PANTS ON NOW
Me (8:33:49 AM): EPIC WIN. my plan reaches fruition
Kalli (8:34:00 AM): +2 for style
Me (8:34:04 AM): *bows*
Kalli (8:34:10 AM): *golf clap*
Kalli (8:34:46 AM): (I <3 you!)
Me (8:35:14 AM): I totes want to journal quote this
Me (8:35:17 AM): FTW
Kalli (8:35:22 AM): do iiiiit

I never did finish my Christmas cards and presents. So again postponed to sending them on MONDAY. I hate myself for that, but I had a really poor day trying to write the cards, having my ink run out, losing my temper and tearing one of my good cards up... o.O It was just not a day for finishing my cards. I'm pretty much overworked, and the sad thing is I don't even have a real job. I'm just a RPoL GM.

Why don't I have a job? Because responsibility makes me anxious. See, with GMing I can at least fool myself into thinking it's 'fake' responsibility because there's no money involved and people just play for fun. If I were to try doing the same amount of work but for money, I would freak out and completely freeze up. I'd be unable to produce anything.

It's similar with my webpage stuff. I have maintained my website and server for 10 years. I haven't been the best at it especially lately (what with rpol making me lazy with everything else), but I've done it for no pay, I've kept things afloat, I troubleshoot stuff for my users, or make them new accounts, etc. I do this almost without thinking about it. Sometimes it's hard but I get things done.

Well we couldn't really go out today due to lack of money (well, sorta... we were waiting for Jon's money to come in but it hadn't yet) and also the fact that it's incredibly cold out today. :( On top of that, I have been sleeping totally screwed up hours lately and can't seem to fix that.

We are going to formally celebrate sometime early January though... already booked the hotel and stuff. I'll stick an announcement up about that later! Jon and I are going to spend some alone time with each other then. <3

I am terrible at multitasking... It makes me slow at everything. When I was doing RPoL, DR, chatting to Kalli and others on AIM, AND poking at my facebook account, that was pretty crazy. o.O It's especially made me incredibly slow in RPoL, which means I will have to be stricter with myself. Stay off IMs and script DR while writing... play DR fully while chatting... write RPoL and chat a bit, maybe. And etc.

I think my limit is 2 ;) Should remember that when I'm back in college again!

I posted the announcement, too. I'm going to do it tomorrow instead, while I'm playing Dark Heresy. (That's around 9 pm Eastern)

What's going on lately... mostly me having bouts with my usual paranoia and anxiety and mood issues. Grrrr. I decided at one point to be more social and talk to more of my RPoL players on AIM, but I'm not sure it was a good idea. Well, I met some cool people, but on the other hand, I don't always like to talk about my games constantly. And I sometimes feel obligated to help people when I'm logged in, which means I take even longer to write my posts. :(

I have to think about this stuff, because I worry about juggling full time college and the RPoL games. A lot. I may not be able to do it. But, I figure I'll know for sure when I get there. I just don't want to be the sort of person who will give up her one chance at college for RP. I would NEVER be able to live with myself.

I started taking a multi-vitamin on Kalli's suggestion! I will start to see how it helps my health soon enough! Exercise is hard as usual because my usual fears and anxieties seem to be exacerbated by the spectre of college time looming over me (I'm really scared it won't work out and I'll fail at it.)

Also, I actually got my class registration squared away. I'll write more about my schedule when I'm in the mood to think about it.

I don't celebrate Easter. But Easter Sunday was a pretty dismal day.

Sometimes I have to think about the fact that I may be too selfish and screwed up in the head to have long term relationships with people. I mean, whether they're friendships or more. But especially more, because the closer a person gets to me, the more likely I am to be cruel. That fact makes me a bit nervous because I am currently unable to take care of myself very well. Maybe I will be a street person one day, but until someone forces the issue I will continue to be a drain to people's patience and resources.

Some people say that the more you love someone the more you can hurt them. I find that this is true for me at least in terms of my marriage. I love Jon very deeply but when I fight him, I fight to win, and I actually feel satisfaction in doing so.