grr

Sorry, I just got into this binge of messing with things on my webserver, and I'm just too focused on it to really be around or do anything else. Gets me too cranky, too, so I just... need to be left alone to do this stuff. D:

I got sidetracked from the bbpress dice roller plugin I'm writing, though. :( I spent all yesterday messing with Python (2.5, if only because 2.6 just came out this *week* and I'd rather wait). Been trying to configure Django which is starting to interest me as the next gen darksiren.net, but I'm still poking at figuring how to make it display with apache / mod_python.

Also, I'm worrying about space left on my webserver, as I'm at 60% of 15GB and that makes me a bit paranoid. Trying to mess with log rotation, right now. But I may also consider upgrading the VPS. $20 more bucks a month guys :( so who wants to donate?!

Oh, and I had to fix webnote, because changing Python messed it up royally. I reinstalled it but need to fix the layout still. Some things to remember:

This morning, I had another one of those "Jon convinces me it's better we break up" dreams. They always seem scarier in dreams. In RL I've almost hardened myself to the idea... not that it's ever happened again. But I mean, my fears if Jon and I broke up tend to more be about how well I'll be able to take care of myself. Practical fears.

I wonder if that's because I disbelieve he'd really leave me, or because I'm really turning apathetic. Well, maybe apathetic is the wrong word, too. The one time Jon and I broke up was such a traumatic time, it's easier to just block it out.

it's 5 am and I'm awake. Booooo :( I thought I fixed it but I ended up napping earlier today and now I don't want to go to bed. Not really progressing much with getting outside more. It'll be winter before I know it, at this rate. *sigh*

I can talk about all the ways I fail lately but I think I won't.

Um. I made another Exalted (2nd ed) chara but not sure I like her much. And I ended up skipping game on Nekira again which sucks of me (though she said she doesn't mind) :( I'm going to be thrown off again because my doc appointment is actually NEXT Weds, not today, and now next week is starting to look too busy for my liking (grr, double grr).

and I need to not be all hermity and slacktastic but I REALLY CAN'T right now. my life is becoming intolerable every time I think of how I have to keep freaking WAITING for everything and have no confidence my plans will work out in the meantime. *shrug* life sucks.

I bought Spore today while I was out. I haven't installed it yet though. But I have it, and also Sims 2: Apartment Life.

Wish I was more in a mood to PLAY them. I had a really bad time out. I went to the bank to open my account and then they wouldn't accept my second ID. Seriously. I was so ticked off. =_= They said my account's all but set up, but now I can't set it up because of ID? I have a legal copy of my passport but the bank doesn't WANT it. The only reason I don't have the real one is because the government is LAGGING on giving it BACK to me.

Oh, and I don't have a health card / SSN either, again because of government delays. GRR. I don't even feel confident applying for college with my bank account and other things up in the air, so now I can't even apply early like I wanted to. Maybe I won't even get accepted, because getting processed early was part of my strategy.

Now I'm set back again, waiting again and rather fed up. I waited a god damn LONG time already. I'm pretty much going to give up and go back to live with my parents if I get nothing by the beginning of November. Why? Because November will be FOUR YEARS I've been waiting and I won't wait any more.

So I hope you'll excuse that I am in an extremely NOT social mood right now.

Ugh. I haven't written for too long. Well, 4 days is long to me.

I'd been stressing over writing the Reborn Again stuff I posted on my wiki last night. I'm not even DONE with it all and I'm all worn out from writing it. Mostly because I had to try to figure out how BESM works AND write a whole set of custom rules for it. And I'm still not done with the fluff. I keep getting questions about all the important locations in RA world and it's bugging me that the docs are incomplete. GRR.

I've wanted to run the D&D roguelike game all bad, too, but because of all that other writing I had to cancel it... and now I'm supposed to run Emberdays today but I'm so damn worn out from worrying and writing and depriving myself of sleep that I'm so certain I won't be running my best game.

But, I really, really can't cancel again. *sigh* I seriously just want several days to rest my mind. I just keep praying that somehow I'll just pull out some amazing creativity out of nowhere and make this next part of ED work.

Truth is though, I really just want to lie down.

I've been working on a layout -- and I mean a very SIMPLE layout -- for the new Caduceus site. I had everything done, more or less, but then discovered that the top banner (which was a centered image) was always shifting a few pixels to the left compared to the splash page.

Yeah, so it's just a few pixels, who cares, right? ... I do! D:

So I raged for a while (all last night, in fact) trying to figure out the issue, when it finally struck me just a few minutes ago. It's the *scrollbar*. The scrollbar was messing up the centering for short pages. x.x So I followed the advice I found here and put in a

html { overflow-y: scroll; }

in the CSS to force a scrollbar all the time. Gah~ I really do hate CSS, have I said that before? n.n

I really hate when I lose my posts... Now I have to rewrite all about Soul Collectors. Grrrr.

It went all right, though, and the players were great to work with (even the ones I originally thought might flake out or be problematic somehow.) Thy are used to a faster-paced game than I usually play/run, though, and I found that a bit hard to get used to, at first. Keeping up will be something I'll have to try hard at whenever I run -- though on the other hand, since everyone's posting so fast, there isn't nearly as much need to spend on detail.

Unfortunately, that ALSO means that when I do want detail, I have to describe as much as I can ahead of time. x.x

The players *seemed* to like the premise, which was to bring a Solar sorcerer to the center of the Black Chase and protect her as she casts the Benediction of Archgenesis, on the new moon of Ascending Water.

(Also, this post ended up LONG!)

But I've mostly gotten things set up the way I wanted them, now. Here's some of the annoying things I had to contend with:

1) The user login box had odd formatting for the list bullets. I was actually ranting to Kalli about this for a while. I finally fixed it, by taking out the line-width argument the creator of my base theme (it's called marinelli, by the way) stuck in the loginblock CSS.

2) I made the BAD mistake of trying to activate the theme developer module packaged with devel. I don't know WHAT was wrong with it, but it started eating my PHP memory like crazy whenever I loaded the modules page. Geez... I had bumped up the max allocation in php.ini to 40M and it was still trying to allocate more! And it started spitting bunches of raw code at me, too.

Bleargh... I hate CSS. I really, really hate CSS!

On the other hand, though, I have Drupal 6.2 running now, after a day of slaving over database backups (I had to do a restore at one point, it was painfully slow and nervewracking), manually updating modules, having to redo my URL aliases at least twice, and *re*-learning Views because Views 2.0 has an entirely different layout to it. (I managed to get all my views working again, though, woo.)

I'm still poking at various little niggling details of things. Having such a beautiful monitor is a blessing and a curse... I *love* the way my site looks on my screen, but some of the colors just look horrific on Jon's. Argh. I grew out of sticking to web-safe colors a long time ago, so I guess that's to be expected, but it's annoying looking over his shoulder and thinking to myself "Bleah, that looks SO much uglier than I thought it did!"

Oh, I managed to find a non-database query intensive way to print categories and tags per entry. But I still have to tweak the full views... now they print tags twice. WTF! Ahhhh, going to be a long night still, I can tell.

I ran Emberdays today, because duh, it's Monday!

And I ended up running a lot longer than I thought. Like, 3 hours longer. *boggle* Mainly because I was too pissed/distracted the night before to really work on anything. I'd say more, but the reasons are too personal to say here.

I ended up spending the majority of the time trying to keep up with all my NPCs while writing the descs for all the guests, and then the people at the end: Miral (who for some reason decided to pick on Valeriya, bad NPC!) and Daruban in particular. I was saving Daruban's entrance for last, though I don't know how it will affect things just yet.

I'm tired... really worn out, but I'm installing Sims 2. Slooooow process. I'm on the third expansion as I speak (Nightlife) and have 4 more to go. I also found out I forgot to save my Churasan eps before reformatting the old hard drive. So sad. Those took *forever* to torrent and now they're all gone. :(

I'll write more when I feel coherent enough to write stuff. o.O