I don't celebrate Easter. But Easter Sunday was a pretty dismal day.

Sometimes I have to think about the fact that I may be too selfish and screwed up in the head to have long term relationships with people. I mean, whether they're friendships or more. But especially more, because the closer a person gets to me, the more likely I am to be cruel. That fact makes me a bit nervous because I am currently unable to take care of myself very well. Maybe I will be a street person one day, but until someone forces the issue I will continue to be a drain to people's patience and resources.

Some people say that the more you love someone the more you can hurt them. I find that this is true for me at least in terms of my marriage. I love Jon very deeply but when I fight him, I fight to win, and I actually feel satisfaction in doing so.