Utena/Anthy hurt/comfort fic. I read one earlier today and got all "eeee~" about it.

I find it amusing that those two have to be one of my favorite couples in anime OF ALL TIME </kanye> but they're two girls. And I still consider myself straight!

Anyway, I never really thought their gender really mattered. In Revolutionary Girl Utena, that matters way less than the feelings between the characters. As I'm sure I've said before, I think that's what I like about it. Love that transcends gender. That concept has always fascinated me way more than loving, or being attracted to the male gender.

Lately I have been thinking again about my ideas to continue Reborn Again. How I wish there was enough energy and inspiration in my body to do that now! I still need to heal, mentally, though. Everyone's worried about me, because I'm always so worn out, to the point I can't even keep up with my games and I have to keep taking mini-breaks from Dragonrealms.

Uh what? Yeah. They're the replacement to Bratz dolls, after the company that makes them (MGA) got all owned by Mattel in court. Apparently the guy who created Bratz defected to MGA while he still had a contract with Mattel, and now many years later this is coming out in the open. So the courts ruled against MGA and are forcing them to take off Bratz from the shelves after 2009 Christmas season. Now Mattel owns Bratz and are going to be the ones distributing them.

It just seems all sorts of shady. Mattel makes Barbie dolls, and the Bratz dolls started taking over as popular among young girls, so they try to sue MGA and finally WIN something. And I mean, big time. Actually forcing MGA to take Bratz out of their lineup could have spelled doom for their company (and some people still think it will, probably once Bratz come back as a Mattel label. I mean most young consumers don't really give a crap about the company.)

I don't celebrate Easter. But Easter Sunday was a pretty dismal day.

Sometimes I have to think about the fact that I may be too selfish and screwed up in the head to have long term relationships with people. I mean, whether they're friendships or more. But especially more, because the closer a person gets to me, the more likely I am to be cruel. That fact makes me a bit nervous because I am currently unable to take care of myself very well. Maybe I will be a street person one day, but until someone forces the issue I will continue to be a drain to people's patience and resources.

Some people say that the more you love someone the more you can hurt them. I find that this is true for me at least in terms of my marriage. I love Jon very deeply but when I fight him, I fight to win, and I actually feel satisfaction in doing so.

My dreams last night were nothing to report. That is, I didn't remember anything! So much for that theory. ^^;

Annnd I finally finished my latest backlog of RPoL posts.

I might have triggered a bit of drama in Outcastes. I hope it will blow over though. But I had to call out one of the players for posting in an inconvenient manner. Didn't like doing it, but it'd happened more than once, and Jon and I discussed at length about it. Part of me wonders if I'm overreacting, but on the other hand, we're the ones who know best what Lasuri will allow in the Cobalt Alliance or not (that being the name for the Outcaste PC's group.)

I'll admit, though, that I just can't identify with Exalted posturing. The comics in the Exalted 2e books encourage that sort of posing, unfortunately. The ones in the corebook are particularly terrible about that.

I guess it just boils down to the fact I disbelieve in "might makes right."

There are sometimes images that can evoke strong reactions in me, no matter how long I go without seeing or remembering them.

I had a moment like that a couple days ago that I wanted to write about, because it actually stunned me for several minutes and stuck with me until I went to bed that day.

[TMI - pretty squicky :/ involves a great deal of talk about vomiting, and some mention of non-consensual sexual fantasies.]