I've been in Canada five years, but haven't really made any friends or acquaintances. This is actually kind of frightening in a way. I mean, what do I do if my husband is gone? o.O

Probably sit at home all day. Which I suppose I did a lot of in college. Or maybe I'd go look at ads for gamers and stuff like I did when I was single. (Though that led to problems of its own...)

I just like quiet time too much. I go out a few hours every few days but then I just totally HAVE to be inside, writing, not bothered by anyone. The loud noise phobia (which I just looked up and found out is called 'ligyrophobia'... another phobia on my list) doesn't help. :(

I guess I could move back to the States, too. Or maybe I'd move over to Vancouver or something. That's one weird thing about not making RL connections, I can pretty much uproot and go wherever.

Ok, but all that's a tangent. On to the topics!

First of all, thanks Sho. This is old news, a bit, but I got your donation and I really, really appreciate it.

Second, I am starting to formulate in my mind the possibility of leaving the country by January 2009. After weeks upon weeks of horrible arguments and despair I can only think that I can't survive like this for another year or even another half year.

So I've given myself January 15 as a deadline. That's the last day I'm going to wait, because past then it will be hard for me to apply for college here next Fall, too. And I really can't wait months and months longer. It's already been 4 years. It's more than enough. I need therapy and I need a sense of REAL accomplishment in my life for once.

If I leave Canada, though, I think it will be to never return. And I will very likely never seen my husband again. But there's nothing to be done. I have to choose to make my life better if no one else will.