b&b

My D&D 3.5 Forgotten Realms character, Lyseria Dawnclear.

She's a chara for a RPoL game. The last name's taken from Thyria and her mother in Exalted B&B. The first is a derivative of Lysistrata, which Kalli suggested but I felt too shy to use, since people might recognize the Greek play it came from. :O

I'm not going to post the sheet, but I will say she's a level 5 half-elven swashbuckler. And I'm very likely going swashbuckler all the way, though I did kind of regret not deciding on starting with a couple Ranger levels. (Rangers get more skill points + they get two weapon fighting for free at 2nd, which I had to buy as a feat. Still, doing that would have made feel too twinky, so I didn't!)

My one complaint after working on this is that Forgotten Realms is just too friggin' HUGE. Way too many countries of origin to choose from, and places to have traveled to. I had a hard time settling on Lyse's god (Tymora) for a while, too.

It's MOSTLY related to Soul Collectors, and my frustration trying to plan for it and then procrastinating horribly.

So I'm throwing in the towel. :P

Not because I dislike Soul Collectors as an idea -- I still love it. And I intend to run it again one day. However, I think I need players with a similar playstyle to me. Players who'll appreciate my descriptiveness, because I prefer writing paragraph(s) long descriptions, actions and interactions than trying to keep up with fast paced oneliners. I want my players to at least *try* to stunt regularly, if not all the time.

I didn't start this thing to have a chat RP. :x And honestly, agonizing over my lack of inspiration was KILLING me. I've been horribly depressed, unmotivated to go outside, eating irregularly, etc. I just... don't want to deal with that any more. Not for a GAME.

So... I'll be back on Thursday.

Just hiding around here messing with Dragonrealms (training Talliska in serpents and vipers now. Owie, viper poison! But I've gotten lots of combat and skinning ranks!) And poking at RPoL posts (I keep making charsheets for games that don't run... helps me practice learning Ex2 rules, I guess).

Other than that I've been coming up with a new idea for a RP for Jon and me. Actually, it's not new so much as a... retelling of something old.

More or less, I'm trying to rewrite Exalted Ryshy's history. I left ADoA and I don't want to mess with anything Col or the other players created, but I still like that particular version of the character and her history. So I'm doing a sort of "Belladonna Revival", I guess you could say.

and it really. really. sucks.

I'm tired and I want to go to bed but I've been trying to transfer all my files and get used to Windows Vista and it's been really. REALLY. slow.

I've had to transfer files from hard drive to hard drive for the whole day.

Then there's the learning curve as I have to wade through undoing as much as I can of the increased dumbing-down that Vista tries to do (god, why do they try to make PCs more like Macs, NO NO NO!) that seems *less* intuitive rather than more. I don't even *get* why Application Data is split into Local, LocalLow and Roaming. WTF?

I'd be getting more angry except I'm so tired I'm beyond anger.

(Oh, but one bit of good/fun news: my machine is named "Saboteur", a homage to Seventeen, of course. *hearts*)

These are the days, the end complete
A world still turning to the sound of the suffering
You are the jury, we are the saints

Our minds divide, the past repeats
A war still brewing in the hearts of those we once bled
I am the knowing...the living dead
-- Coheed and Cambria, "The End Complete"

I have been thinking lately about Anthegenia, Sophia and Lonan.

The whole concept of Anthegenia was born from the B&B RP, which I consider one of my biggest screwups as an ST. :x Actually, I'm a screwup as an ST in general, because my anxiety fucks me up SO badly. I've looked at how I run when I'm not anxious and I think it's actually ok, even good. But when I am, every post is a struggle. :/

(In fact it's probably better no one reads this. I am putting this entry out here so I can vent about my emotional state, and so I can be HONEST about my feelings in at least one part of the world... or in this case Internet. Anyway, you've been warned, so do not bother telling me I'm pathetic for whining and suicide threats and so on. I ALREADY KNOW.)

The focus of yesterday's W! session was the dance competition thingy, since King Deshane decided he wouldn't join the treasure hunt unless one of "our people" (who turned out to be Lily's concubine Violet Dusk) danced against the worst of his male dancers (who turned out to be far from horrible, really!) and won. I suspect the competition was rigged and Deshane just wanted to see how well we dance, but hey, Dusk won, and that's what we needed. ^^;

Then there was OMG CLIFFHANGER! and people (other than Lily who really wanted some intimate time with Dusk :P) went off to figure out who stole our stuff. Yeah... it was a short scene overall. But it was a good thing to play W! I always kinda feel like we gotta clamor for it 'cause Darkheart might let it NOT run for a longer period of time. ^^; So that's why I'm always all "wheeeee~!" when it does run.

Thursday feels like a good day to go out, and so I'm gonna. I need clothes, actually. Tired of not having much to wear because of my damn weight gain. Though I do intend to lose the weight, I don't really know how long it will take... *shrug*

Before I continue with ramblings, I should also note that Jon's computer kinda... died. :/ We're gonna buy some parts to fix it today (hopefully). I just thought I should mention it since Kraken tried to say hi to him right before it blue-screened. Was some sort of kernel stack error... it's either a cable needing replacing, or the hard drive itself malfunctioned. The latter would suck really bad. :x So I hope it's not that, but I guess we'll find out.

About to get some sleep, or try to, but before that thought I should give an account of my day, as my habit often is.

Today (as mentioned previously) was Wardragon40K, which was generally quite fun! We actually arranged to start at the normal time, 1 pm EST, but Grey woke up late ^^; (And he's the ST!) Still, we got a good amount of play in, finally finishing off the big battle and getting to some RP with the group. Well, at least most of us were interested in having our chars interact. >.> J had his just fly off and brood somewhere, which I found kind of... odd.

There was a weird period where my cable connection's DNS server died on us, right in the middle of the game (and just when the chara interaction was starting after battle! ;.;) Fortunately it only lasted several minutes, but I was a little bit irritated for a while there. Eni figured out it was DNS and sent me the IP of Selina's server so I could log back into the WD40K room that way meanwhile.

Mrgh... it's been really, REALLY hard for me to get to sleep lately. I'm so overstressed. x.x I worry about my friends, I worry about my RP, I worry about sim-chan, I worry about money, I worry about what people think of me... ugh... my mind just overloads. And yet I don't stop... I haven't been giving myself enough time to just slow down and relax.

Last night was a good example of my stress-related insomnia. I spent allllll the rest of the night sitting there writing Emberdays stuff -- and god. I have to repeat this on Wednesday, I just know it. Though admittedly, I'm not TOO apprehensive about Garenth's intro, more that I gotta sit and get the facts straight. I think in this case the location won't even matter as much because I'll have tons, and I mean tons! of info to give, potentially.