Good times y/n?

RPoL obsession... still going strong.

Outcastes, I am starting to feel better about again since moving the game onto a more interesting encounter.

Five Coils, I already have 8 players for, wtf? Well, technically 7. But it is SO not hard to find players. And yeah, that includes at least halfway decent ones. For that game I pretty much personally asked people to join, I got a yes from all but one.

Hmm. I think I am not all that sucky at this after all. Problem is that all I do now is RPoL, and almost NOTHING ELSE. I kinda worry I don't give myself other things to pay attention to or do. Jon keeps saying it's ok... because it makes me happy, and barring being able to do ANYTHING else about my situation of complete life stagnation and NO good news in the mail, that's pretty much the best I can do to stay sane.

Well I don't want to think about the crap right now. So moving on...

Oh, I played Wardragon on Sunday. It was a lot of fun, as usual. Archana remains one of my favorite characters to play, and now she's in command of an entire fleet. Boggles the mind! I don't even KNOW how many ships the Unity has accompanying it, that's the sad thing. There's just so many I can't totally be sure. Hehe.

One thing I have to say is that Ex2 would probably have dealt with large scale combat better. But, some people loathe the Mass Combat system, again (I'm still trying to figure out why, to be honest... Maybe it's just the dependence on the War skill. I suppose I can understand that. For some games, I think it's best to just abstract War... for others, I think it's important.) Also, it's an Ex2 thing and Wardragon is played in Ex1. :P

(part of me kinda hopes Ex3 will be the ideal system taking the best from 1 and 2, but who knows.)

Anyway, as usual Grey's laid out for us a pretty formidable situation for escape. Hehe, he does tend towards making very complex highly tactical scenarios. I actually like that. But I think this time I want us not to dwell on defeating everyone in our path and just concentrate on getting the Unity across the ford and the *heck* away from Hollow. ^^;

Today, I'm finally going to play Nekira's game again... I mean, Dark Days. We've been lagging! I think I ought to be up to it this time, though. I know Nekira's been planning to jump Rosalia with a combat scenario for a while now, so her combat readiness will be tested. As a mortal, right now, she's a lot more defensive than offensive... here's hoping she doesn't totally screw up and die prematurely!

Mmm what else. Oh, Jon has been replaying Final Fantasy 6, and all his character customizing is making me yearn to play a Final Fantasy game, too. Except, oddly enough, the one I really want to play right now is... Final Fantasy X-2. Ahah, yes! Garment Grids and Dress Spheres and YRP, oh my! (Oh and Nooj and Leblanc. I actually really LIKE them as characters, so sue me!) I am so going to play it, I think, I really need to stop sitting around all obsessed with nothing but RPoL.

Will things look up by the holidays? I just... wish that the documents I'm waiting for would come before the holidays. That's all I ask. :( what can I do to make it work? I don't know. I have no idea what to do. I'm lost and I'm without motivation and hardly any hope. I know that I really need to see a therapist, I at least need some medicine to help my moods, I just need something GOOD to pull me out of this pit I'm falling into. Something so I can turn to life, and not just these characters and stories I have in my head.

I wish I wasn't so lacking in energy and competency that I could actually make my life better. I can't. I don't even have change to do laundry right now. That's kinda my life. It's only when I'm roleplaying that I have any strength or any hope or anything at all.

It kills me inside. Maybe today, I'll get my passport? Maybe tomorrow? Please?

I would have posted this yesterday but I had a bad night and it nearly ended in me sleeping on the floor just inside the door of the apartment and hoping I freeze there with all the dirty shoes.