Finally, fiiiinally...

I'm going to play Sims 2 this ENTIRE DAY!

I find it oddly therapeutic to just immerse myself in Sims 2 for an extended period of time. Afterward, for some reason, life just doesn't seem as bad! Maybe it's the feeling of having complete control over a society and its people. Gives me some sort of confidence and satisfaction (I do always strive to give my Sims happy lives!) More so than with games like Spore or Sim City, because Sims are a lot more like 'virtual people' with their various social and interpersonal interactions.

Anyway, I have a lot to do and get done (both online and in RL) so I'm not wanting to be in a down mood much longer. It's hard to fight it :( but I did go and exercise on my own without prompting today, and that's something.

I also joined a depression forum. I don't know whether it will do much for me yet, but it does help to be able to talk about depression and know people know what I'm talking about.

Mostly, when it comes to depression communities (and I may have said this before) I tend to want to DO STUFF with people who are depressed/anxious, not dwell on talking about the negative. Like I think the ideal forum for me would focus FIRST on fun, positive things, but give the option to discuss the negatives about living with mental illness. Even better, it'd focus on the idea of roleplaying as a forum of therapy. 'Cause I do think it can be, when done safely and responsibly.

But I've never really found a forum that quite fits. :( At times I've considered actually starting a depression forum of my own (not on darksiren.net I don't think, I'd probably get a new domain/server) but I don't think I'd be able to moderate it all alone. Well, my husband would help but it'd be a great deal of work -- again for something I'd be doing for free, when I should be concentrating on getting myself at least passably functional in RL.

Forum RPs seem to be my safest form of communication at the moment -- probably because Roleplay Online gives more a feeling of anonymity than the usual RPs I participate in, and that makes me feel less anxious or overwhelmed. I don't feel pressured to post, so that helps also. I do kind of wish some of my other friends played on RPoL because I actually find it a lot of fun ^^; but everyone has their own taste in how to play.

Hell I can't even remember why I got on RPoL any more. It was probably just boredom, while I was looking for forums to recruit players for Soul Collectors 1.0. I really do recommend it though, for some consistent and non-stressful (but potentially good) RP.

Anyway I think I'm going to go back to my Sims 2 game. I'm having a ton of fun with Apartment Life right now, moving a bunch of my downtown people into apartment buildings. So far I've mostly been moving and furnishing and not as much *playing* but the whole apartment life thing actually DOES make playing on individual lots less boring. :D Your relationship with your neighbors actually impacts how courteous they are to you, for example. And you can even befriend (or make an enemy of... one of my Sims totally LOATHES his) your landlord if you want!

P.S. Friday I am going to go to a gaming store, maybe I will find some interesting RPG books or other things. I'm pretty excited, I haven't really GONE OUT anywhere for weeks, and this will involve going on the subway and doing some exploring. Maybe I will even have money left at the end of the day to have a nice meal out with my husband, I hope so.