Back from going out :O

Today was better for going out, it was cooler (there was some rain). I had some stressful periods but mostly I was all right.

I went to a nice Spanish restaurant. Oh no, I forgot the name already. (Figures!) but I got to have paella again. I *love* paella. It's a dish with saffron rice and usually some chicken or seafood with it. We got paella de marisco, the seafood kind -- it came with a crab claw and a half-lobster, too. Jon's crab claw was so huge he spent half the meal trying to crack it, hehe.

We also got appetizers, mmm. A really tasty seafood pastry, and gazpacho soup. Jon was calling me a dork because I told him the only reason I knew gazpacho soup was cold was because of watching Red Dwarf. I guess it is kind of dorky. ^^;

Along the way to the restaurant and back we wandered around a bit at the festival. It wasn't so bad, I wasn't feeling too scared, so I got to go browse at some stores and listen to some outdoor performances. We went to Archambault and Jon ended up buying me a lil stuffed kitten cause I kept talking about wanting a pet cat.

I used to wish for it more because I wanted a cat to keep me company while I stayed inside, and to help keep me calmer. But our apartment's still too small for all our stuff, much less a cat. I'm hoping we can have one in the bigger apartment!

Speaking of that, our landlady-to-be called today so we'll be able to sign the final lease pretty soon. That will make me feel a little more secure about my future, though I have plenty else to worry about: loans, health insurance, getting a new check card, getting my car and passport back... etc. I feel like I'm always getting screwed over somehow, and I wonder if it's because I'm not doing enough to help my situation, or because I often have to have Jon do things for me. :(

It's embarrassing to admit, but I have a very unreliable memory when it comes to things that stress me out. I'll get into doing all these elaborate projects, and completely forget about anything related to real life responsibilities. So I find myself either worrying constantly or forgetting to worry at all. I actually have to tell Jon to remind me of things, and sometimes I end up repeating myself two, three times in a day because I'm paranoid he won't remember either.

There are times he just prefers to deal with such responsibilities himself. Not because he doesn't think I can do them, but because I end up freaking out about details and delays and end up accomplishing very little beyond raising my already quite LARGE stress level.

I almost think myself emotionally handicapped because I can't be trusted to function as an independent adult. *sigh*

Anyway, before I tangent into more depressing things, I'll just say that tomorrow Jon's going help me call for a few things involving loans and my check card and so on, and hopefully I'll get some better answers soon. :/

Now, it's time to watch more Alias! :O We're up to season 3 (of 5). I'm sad because they got rid of my favorite male character (Will). I was expecting that to happen all the way through the first and second season, and I kept hoping I'd be wrong! WAH! Jon and I keep thinking about Suurnis and Mellauna (our sekrit agent type characters, who are Elothean agents from Shard in Dragonrealms, and Sidereals posing as Bronze Faction in Emberdays) whenever we watch this show and I get this feeling we'll want to write, or at least come up with a concept to write, about them soon.