RPoL so far. RP ramblings.

I'm realizing I really like the RPoL tools. It's a pretty good system to run tabletop games by forum. I think I'm pretty much sold on using it for my Exalted forum game, unless I could find a way to install their software on my server (ha, yeah right...)

It takes a lil getting used to, but things like being able to create custom groups (i.e. if your PCs split into smaller groups, everyone won't necessarily see what the others are doing if you set the permissions right) and having a built in die roller. The roller has privacy settings, accounts for many different types of tabletop systems, and even options for GMs to fudge rolls. So, it's cool :O

The ONLY complaint I have is that the games are rather slow. But, it's the sort of pace I can definitely keep up if I'm going to college or working, or even just doing my own projects and things (which as you know can take a lot of my time as well).

Iyadali is turning out to be a lot of fun to play. ^^ I like her attitude, and the Dawn ninja boy seems impressed by her boomerang. XD Heh, no one's even seen her use her sun bolts or sorcery yet. Yay, Twilights! I like playing them. And no, not for the cheaty anima. n.n Though I admit I did build Iyadali to have decent soak... it's nowhere near as good as Ryshy was. Ryshy was probably *too* good at soaking, but that's what you get with 100+bp and several hundreds of xp poured into a Solar character. :O

I think I'm actually getting rather obsessed with this whole forum play thing... :D I'm poking around at the idea of joining more. I mean, for me they are *really* slow. o.O The other two sheets I'm making (or pondering to make) are both Dynastic Dragon-blooded: Cathak Deimara, a dutiful but disgruntled Legions officer stationed in Greyfalls, and Ledaal Kebok Sulza, a sorceress descended from Sulco that has the stain of demon blood in her lineage. They're Fire and Air respectively, and I've stolen Sulza's name from Emberdays -- she actually exists there, and is at Daran's party right now, in fact!

And meanwhile I've been trying to rest more (I feel better today) and finishing to write my preliminary Soul Collectors posts. Wow, I hope the game works out, I'm still really jittery! But I feel less bad about it now for some reason. Not really sure why... I don't expect that to last, though, because I've found my mood to be rather volatile lately.

For example: I keep getting jealous of Kalli having her new RP partner, which I'm ashamed of because it's rather petty and childish of me. :/ I just find it so hard to find people I can both enjoy RPing with and feel so comfortable talking to. Admittedly, SHE doesn't always luck out, but right now I guess it bothers me more than it normally would because of all my nervousness for Soul Collectors, leftover bitterness from having to leave ADoA, and so on. (Yeah, I still miss playing Ryshy. *sigh*)

I was telling her about my concerns about our RP styles. I feel sad because I don't know if we mesh so well, and she'd have way more fun playing with her new friend. I feel a bit uninspired to post for Carlyon because of that, I think. I tried to explain it, but I'm not sure I explained it right. I guess I just feel like I'm not RPing him for a purpose beyond just interacting, and that alone makes me a bit... apathetic. It has nothing to do with Kalli's writing style or the world she built for the game, because she is an *excellent* writer and Steamworks is awesomely thought out. So I feel really, really sad and kind of guilty about struggling so much with my inspiration. (Also, I have to admit, my stupid, unthinking grammar mistakes last post made me really... I dunno... shy about posting more. :/ Oh well.)

Bottom line, I think, is that I want to play characters in a plot where they can have an impact on the outcome, and work towards their goals and motivations. Exalted, *especially* Ex2, has that sort of thing built in pretty much by default. You're an Exalt... you're expected to do great things. I have a *lot* of fun doing purely social scenes -- I mean, Emberdays is primarily social, and I've done tons and tons of minis with the PCs for that. The first scene I've played with Rosalia is all about socializing, going through the daily life of a noblewoman. But in all these things, I have the promise that eventually their actions will lead to some sort of change in the world, the characters, their immediate surroundings and/or people close to them. They don't simply socialize in a vacuum.

Now, people who play/run Exalted don't always do it right -- or at least in a way I enjoy. In my latest searches for Exalted games, I've encountered plenty of the "righteous Solar circle" type of thing, and even the game I'm playing Iyadali in has some of that. Blah blah, we're so oppressed, the UCS is great, our powers are only meant for good and you're misunderstanding us, but we'll help you anyway... and so on. That sort of thing. It bugs me because the Solars are not necessarily in the right. The Great Curse is real, and there's documented history of the First Age Anathema doing great damage to Creation and their subjects as they slowly went mad, triggering the Usurpation.

And as for the Unconquered Sun... seriously, how much good can you really say about the Incarna when they sit in the Jade Pleasure Dome in Heaven all day, pondering their next move in the Games of Divinity while all Creation goes to shit? :P Of course, the PCs don't usually KNOW this. But that's the truth of the matter, if you go with Exalted canon. I tend to AU Exalted at least somewhat every time I run it, because I don't like the idea of the PCs finding out the truth about the world only to wonder whether it's worth fighting for. :P But that's just me. Of all my games, Emberdays is probably the closest to canon.

I also tend to dislike games where the Realm and the Dynasts are overly stereotyped as selfish and decadent. Sure, they've got the Wyld Hunt, the Immaculate Order -- but everyone in the Realm believes to a different extent and acts on those belief to different degrees. I suppose all the stereotyping and prejudice IS part of the setting, though. The Dynasts and the Solars consider each other the enemy, when it's at least partially rigged that way by the Sidereals who wrote the Immaculate Philosophy in the first place.

Still, doesn't keep me from wanting to create Dynast characters who'll call Solars out on their hypocrisy, if need be. XD That's pretty much what Deimara is going to be like (the Cathak Legionnaire I mentioned earlier.)

Anyway, to stop going off on multiple tangents... the point is that I suck at feeling inspired to RP purely for character socialization. ;.; I've realized, too, that that's why I lost interest in Dragonrealms for a good long while. I was very disappointed when the Outcast War destroyed the driving purpose of a lot of my DR charas and that killed my interest for years. I don't think I'd be interested in playing DR at all today if I didn't have the Order to inspire me to interact, and get back into the lore and history of Elanthia.

Kalli made a point though, that getting the feeling that your actions truly matter in a game/setting depends a lot on the person running the game. It takes a GM/ST etc. that is attentive to what the players want to do, and able to balance the focus of the game between different PCs' motivations. Though it's bad to railroad the game in a particular direction, you still need to *have* a direction. It doesn't always work to make the PCs direct all the action, especially if they have a hard time coming to an agreement. Establishing the *reasons* why a PC would want take this or that path, though, is up to the GM(s). And they must be willing to be flexible, if the PCs DO come up with some ideas or course of action they hadn't considered!

All in all, it's a hard job to do, on top of arbitrating rules and mechanics. So I don't blame people who are iffy about the idea that it's possible to play a game where you have a significant role in the plot and setting. I, for one, hope that I *DO* give that impression to my players, but I can't really be certain. :/ In Emberdays, it's probably less so, at least at this point because you've got the Sidereals in control and the Houses OUT of control. But I've said and I still maintain that I want the PCs to be able to do major things... I want to give them a chance to make a difference. It's just been taking a long time to build up to that point. :o

And in Soul Collectors, I pretty much designed the setting and premise so that the PCs WOULD have a direct role in saving Creation, or at the very least Creation's mortal souls. That's what I'm hoping to do with my as-yet-unnamed new Exalted setting, too (which I ought to put into more detail when I have the time!)

I'm rambling too much now, though... it's late(early), and I need to finish my Soul Collectors writing so I can relax the rest of today.