Another odd thought about Jackal...

I think he actually strongly resembles Albireo from Reborn Again in some ways. They are similar kinds of people, and in a way even *look* similar. Well, they're both blond, on the tall side, good looking and appear young, though are older than most of the other main characters in their respective worlds.

Also, there's a certain relativity, I guess, in their morality. They are generally good hearted, I think, highly motivated by a desire to protect what's important to them. However, they may employ methods some would consider underhanded or outright manipulative -- basically, "the means justifies the end." They may even outright kill for their beliefs, and take a certain pride in their convictions.

When I think of Albireo's "manipulative", I think of the way I've had him maneuver Mimi into telling him many of her personal beliefs and secrets. Jackal has many more examples -- including identity theft, extortion, assassination, using sleeper agents and turning his own henchmen into scapegoats.

And I am crushing over him? O.o But I think it's because of how dedicated he is, not because he's "bad". Like I've said I think his methods may be very wrong, and even his intentions misguided, but he'll follow through with it to the end, believing that the good outweighs the bad. And if that leads him to be hated, vilified, even killed, he'll accept that fate. He honestly believes that what he's set in motion would outlive his own end, and it's ultimately for the good of the Realm.

For Jackal, it's as if it's preordained. Hubris, indeed.

Anyway, I'm just amused at the fact there are similarities at all. Albireo, by the way, is the main Dark Dragon antagonist of Reborn Again, my eternally stalled Breath of Fire fic (no, I won't just continue the original, I'm rewriting it or leaving it undone! noes~!) Personal henchman of Myria, one of her four generals, that sort of thing. I never really got to delve very deeply into his manipulativeness in the original story, but I do remember he messed with Nina a bit in one of the 30-something chapters.

I don't think I'm capable of writing a truly evil character, though. Mostly because I don't believe in pure good or pure evil. People are a product of their upbringing and what they are encouraged to believe in those formative years of childhood. Conflicts often occur between people not because one or the other is inherently a cruel and terrible person, but because their needs differ. It could be a question of resources (between nations), of emotions (between individuals), of ideologies (between religions). Often, from each side's perspective, they are doing what they believe is right. So who is really right?

Some people indulge in fiction, especially fantasy fiction, because they want those easy conflicts, where one group or entity is undeniably evil without a single reason to inspire compassion. That's fine; I can understand the appeal, because it's simple and thus one can concentrate on the entertainment value, rather than thinking or feeling too deeply about it. But that's not why I enjoy reading or writing fiction. I like using fictional worlds as a backdrop to express very real feelings and issues. The fictional world frees me from the confines of real life politics, history and current events, which themselves can have a great impact on the scenarios and characters I create.

I am a very character-driven writer, which means that more than the setting (though setting is also important!) I want the characters to be believable. I want people who read about them to be able to sympathize or at least come to an understanding (even a grudging one) about their feelings and motivations. Circumstances and desperation can make a person do very stupid or hurtful things.

This is not to say I will never consider a person's actions bad. There is one thing I find very difficult to forgive, both in fiction and in RL, and that's the inability to feel empathy for the suffering of another, or remorse for causing another person pain. I can understand withholding an apology out of pride, or convincing oneself to harden your heart against suffering -- there are reasons for these things. But just plain having no sympathy at all, because you can't manage to put yourself in the position of another and think of how they might feel?

I can't even comprehend being that way. The extreme of such behavior is basically being of antisocial nature. Those kind of people scare me! So I'm not very likely to write an antagonist in that extreme. I can only write what I understand, after all, and I don't think I could feel a character like that.

So I prefer to write about people who commit evil acts, rather BEING evil themselves. Even the most heinous act ought to have a reason behind it. Conflict occurs because the antagonist(s) reasons and motivations cannot be reconciled with that of the protagonist(s). For me, that's what creates the impetus to write a story, or run a roleplaying game. It doesn't have to be an epic story of good and evil. It's more about seeing how characters react in difficult, even extreme situations, and how they behave with each other and the world around them as a result.

Okay, I probably repeated myself at least once there, but I'm sleepy, and I'm a helpless dork that can actually find one of her OWN characters attractive. So very sad!