*hands Eni a medal* Also RP rambling!

I talked to people briefly today and it was nice. Mostly Eni and Selina, a lil bit with Lumi and Kraken too. Eni was looking for some input on something bothering her, and ended up inspiring me to exercise again at the same time too. o.o Woo. I did yesterday and I will again today! That is a good thing. ^^ Thanks Eni!

Every now and then I get in these really dark moods, and then something happens that reminds me that I know some really great people and things are not as bad as I thought. I'm grateful for that.

I also started that Kanti and Ryshy scene with Kraken, which was good, if slow. I'm gradually getting a hang of post-kidnapping Ryshy, though it's weird. It involves quite a bit of implying rather than telling (which I suppose is a good writing tactic in the first place), because I think Ryshy's feelings are actually mixed. There's part of her that's shamed and devastated, and part of her who wants to face her darker side head on. Not because she wants to become it again, but to accept that it IS part of her, and by doing so, removing what control it has over her.

I think that's the angle I want to go for with her eventual scene with Selina. I know Selina worries she'll just influence Ryshy in a bad way. But I think her influence can be good too, in the sense that Selina took what was dark about her and turned it into an advantage. I guess the issue there is something of "just how far do you go?" I want Ryshy to strike a balance. She doesn't need to put on this mask that she is saintly and pure, because quite honestly, very few people truly are. It's possible, and sometimes necessary, to use a non-peaceful act to achieve a good end -- most notably, to defend those you love, and stand up for causes you believe in.

I think, and Ryshy thinks, Selina is still a basically good person, no matter the decisions she made in life. That is possibly naive of her, but that explains a lot of why she trusts and believes in the Dark Angel more than... well, most of the ADoA cast, really. o.O I just hope that when the time comes, all this comes across right. ;.;

I want Ryshy to meet Izabella too, with Alexsei. I just have to keep bugging Eni and Selina about when the heck their chars will get to Aquavi. :P Rarrrr, I do feel pretty stressed about having to nag about it and push for these minis a lot, but I don't like giving up on the few chances Ryshy has to maintain a connection with other PCs. As time goes on, I realize the pool of chars she would really relate to is quite small. =_= Like, I would want to do a scene with other PCs (I try to get Ryshy to interact with every char in ADoA if I can) but sometimes I'm at this total loss as to what they will say to each other. :P

Days is one of those -- though actually, Ryshy and Days had an interesting conversation while the latter was in bedlam. That just happened to be a lucky shot, though. I don't think the newly reshaped Days would have anything at all in common with Ryshy. :P Alex is another I couldn't just come up with a scene with on the spot... I could see Ryshy talking to him about Kanti, or about the war, I guess, but... I dunno what else! Vorpal just plain intimidates Ryshy, and confuses me half the time 'cause she is so unpredictable (though I do have a couple scenes in mind for the future, one when I deem Ryshy ready to return to full duties within the Shades of Eventide, and another when Ryshy gains the proverbial balls to spar her. O.O) And Moon... besides the fact he and Ryshy are quite opposites in personality, I'd be more concerned about him groping Ryshy than anything else. Heh. That wouldn't come across very well in Ryshy's current emotional state, since she's had plenty of people molesting her already.

The others, I think, Ryshy has an ok time with. Alexsei, obviously. Selina and Iza, same thing (Ryshy is rather attached to House de Windia actually, in terms of loyalties). Cael and Kanti, I never have trouble playing with, 'cause I do plenty of RP with Kraken and am used to it. Who else? Um, there's Opal, but she is kinda a non-issue as she just pops up in scenes haphazardly, it seems. o.O There's Gennadi, but I still dunno if Fiat is gonna play again or not (I think it's leaning towards yes, lately). I don't mind playing with Gennadi, though, if anything because he seems to underestimate Ryshy a lot in terms of just how naive and manipulatable she is. Actually, I've suspected for quite some time that he tries to use Ryshy as a way to put himself in a favorable position with Alexsei (whether as an ally or for potential extortion :P) which is... rather amusing because it just won't work. :D Alexsei will always be indecipherable to him and that is totally awesome. Muah hah hah. :D

[Edit: Also, if Gennadi comes back, he has a LOT of explaining to do, as his actions (though indirectly) helped lead to Ryshy's capture. Then again, that's misleading to say, since I don't think any explanation will make Alexsei trust him now!]

All of this is just relating to minis and character interaction, though. There's still a wider plot going on in ADoA and I don't want to be too disconnected with it. I can just get away with that more right now because Ryshy is supposed to be resting. Col only gave me 2-3 days to mini initially though, so that's why I went for Alexsei mini and Kanti mini, since they were two of the only chars available in that time frame. :P Everyone else is at that opera thing, or over in Windia, it seems.

It doesn't help that I am feeling quite hermity lately. In my current state of depression, I try to minimize my interaction with people because I tend to get really irritable. Don't want to say things I'll regret, I guess. :P But that leads to me having to prod a lot when I AM there about what happened in ADoA, since with 10+ players it's inevitable there are at least a couple other groups playing independently. Rawr.

I am actually glad for the fact I'm in fewer games nowadays. Just two besides Emberdays (and Emberdays takes up plenty of my threshold for stress lately, which totally sucks). I need more time for myself and I can actually allow myself that. I totally wouldn't mind if Selina's game ran soon though, gah. I think I'll poke about it over the weekend 'cause I won't be around much today I think. There's a possibility I'll end up joining Kraken's new game whenever it happens, too, and that'll just about fill my limit of game times, besides the RPs that Lumi runs periodically. (Hey, there needs to be more of that, too. Now that Lumi's schedule is settling down I can prod for it. :D)

I don't want to cut out RP completely from my life. But I'm glad I'm practicing more moderation. Heh. In the meantime I've been continuing to play DR now and then, which has been fun -- but I don't stay in the game regularly enough that I get much RP out of it, I guess. I keep yearning for the days of 1000+ players. Sigh. :/ DR has changed so much. That's why it's good I still have other RP to depend on. Maybe one day I'll find my ideal game again... or another group to game with. Who knows? It's too bad I find #wod difficult to stomach, 'cause it seems like there are some decent people there. It just so happens that I like Exalted, but don't like the fandom, or the various assumptions and memes associated with it.

Well, there is that RPoL game I had wanted to mess with, but I'm starting to get cold feet I guess. Not 'cause there's anything wrong with the game, just... don't know I want to put too much effort into a game with total strangers. I just need to get to know more people, first. ^^;