I was told just last night that Wardragon is dead - the game I played Archana in. I'm not surprised at all, but it is still saddening. I think of all the games I played on OpenRPG I had some of the best times with WD40K. However, I understand the reasons for it ending.

Archana will live on in some way, so it's not too bad. I intend to keep writing about her, possibly even find other game(s?) to play her in if that is possible. As mentioned before, one of the Anthegenia novels actually involves a story with her as the main character.

One thing I will say is that when I play/write Archa again, I'm very likely going to cut out the creepy incest bits (i.e., she has to bear children for her father, Pasiap, the Immaculate Dragon of Earth) and the celibacy as well. Celibacy was only in place at all because I wasn't expecting Archa to fall in love. :P And the father thing was partially inspired by my unhealthy view of obligation to father figures, and my tendency to sexualize this (Ryshy had an abusive mother rather than father, though, so I think the gender matters less than the control/abuse aspect).

I don't actually think it's healthy to encourage that kind of thinking even if it's just in RP. I've changed a lot from the woman who blindly reveled in the abuse and humiliation of my own characters. (Not saying Pasiap abused Archa necessarily, but come on, ordering your daughter to have no sex except with YOU, or relinquish his blessing? Still questionable and unpleasant, at the very least.) Besides, I just don't think the whole incestuous priestess thing is all that NECESSARY for Archana's character development. I guess I'd like to emphasize her positive traits more, the next time around. Of course she will still be dutiful to a fault, but it'll be for different reasons -- I can play up the military aspect (which became a lot more important to Archana's identity) than the priestess one, for example.

I guess the main concern I have with Archana having the father obligation background, is that it thereafter becomes an excuse for her to put her happiness and even dignity second to her obligations. While she did have a great responsibility on her shoulders (the Unified Forces, and of course Saving Creation) and ought to take it seriously, cutting out one's own happiness from the equation is just a step away from being as dangerously self-sacrificing as Ryshassa became. While this may be an interesting story to write, I'm not really keen on tempting myself with such issues any more.

The sexual aspect is another worry of mine. Though it would likely never have been covered in Wardragon itself, Archa would have eventually had to give up her virginity to her father. Even though I was entirely intending for Archa to give up her priestesshood after WD was over, marry Seventeen and create House Avanti (teehee) and have lots of Earth and Water Aspect babies, the fact I thought up this possibility in the FIRST place is not due to any interest in incestuous situations. I consider it a remnant of the 'me' before leaving ADoA/Unshaped, when I was still glorifying my own abuse and happily putting my characters in situations where they could taken advantage of or pushed into unpleasant obligations. The 'me' who, after leaving, still yearned for months to find another roleplay community where I could arrange for such things to happen. (I could do so in Elliquiy for example. I think that if my husband were not here, I would actually do it.)

Though I don't blame ADoA or Unshaped for 'making' me do anything, it was still a dangerous environment for me personally. I see the end of Wardragon as another step in me disassociating with most of those people. Now I've only got one particular reason to spend time on IRC, and that's for Selina's Dark Heresy game. Eventually I will be removing all my info from UnshapedWiki and putting it back on my site, as well.

Now when I write about characters suffering abuse or unfair treatment at the hands of an authority or parental figure, I want it to be in the optic of illustrating how damaging such treatment can be, and to give hope to those who may suffer abuse that one can overcome the resulting scars. I want neither to glorify suffering nor become apathetic to it, whether it's my own, my characters' or the suffering of others. I suppose I've become rather vocal about this because the realization that I was emotionally abused in the first place came very recently to me. The realization that my arousal toward sexually abusive and humiliating situations stemmed from my young mind's struggle to cope with the abuse is also very recent (like less than 2 years ago recent).

It shocks and amazes me that I could have been blind to these things for so long. Now that I know this truth I can't turn away from it. I can't go back to being ignorant, for my sake as well as for others who may have suffered similarly to me in their past.

Hrm. I'm not sure if I've ever explained much about Archana in Ashes to Ashes (Anthegenia book 4 tentative name). The story starts with Archana attending a military academy in her mid-late teens. One of her classes involves attending the ongoing trial of a group of individuals accused of betraying her nation of Isskelia. These turn out to be the Ice Rain Brigade, and the captain of the Brigade is sentenced to death while the others are sentenced to solitary, maximum security imprisonment. They were all found guilty of charges, which involved the death of an important Isskelian politician/official.

Archana becomes deeply interested in a particular man in the Brigade, a man without a name, who prefers to be referred to as "Seventeen". She watched his individual trial most closely, and chooses to write her report on this convict in particular. Why she is so fascinated is because of how calm, willing and cooperative he is through the whole trial. When he got his verdict, he smiled. A strange, sad smile that stays in her memory ever after.

She continues to study for years, but on the side continues to research on the case of the Ice Rain Brigade (aka Isskelian 31st), on the now executed Captain Suova and Seventeen, as well. What she discovers, leads her to desire to help him. To earn him, if not a pardon, at least a parole.

The young woman becomes an adult, and grows into a young officer of reknown. Years pass. Still she does not forget her desire to help Seventeen. Until finally, having earned a respectable command, she invokes a loophole which allows her to arrange for his conditional release -- as long as she takes full responsibility for his actions. In short, she has been given a mission which she is legally able to determine will succeed, by a large margin, only if a man with Seventeen's unique skills is assigned to it.

As for what those skills are: it is more than just his talent as spy and saboteur, though those are very much part of it. In truth Seventeen is actually a product of a controversial project known as the Trance Soldier System. So he's something of a manufactured 'super soldier', but escaped his fate as a non-person by willingly going to prison -- besides the fact he did believe in the cause that led him and Suova to betray their country.

I think when Archana finally springs Seventeen from prison, she'll be older than she was in Wardragon. (This is to justify all the legal battling and promotions she would have gotten after her teen years at the military academy.) She'll probably be in her early 30s, and Seventeen in his 50s. But Isskelians won't have average human lifespans -- they'll probably be closer to 200-300 years, so the age difference won't be notable.

Anyway, all that is some VERY tentative plans/ideas/etc. for Archa and 17 in the near-future Anthegenian story. There's plenty more to think about before I could so much as start writing anything. Nor am I going to assume that I'll even get published. Seriously, I doubt it. :) I don't even know if I'll finish it! At least Archana has a 'home'... that alone is satisfying.