I don't even know what to write any more most days.

I start posts but then never finish them. And I'm too busy with writing on rpol or trying to fix my crappy sleep patterns lately (argh insomnia).

Also, my site has gotten *annoyingly* slow to load (I have no idea if it's like that for others but definitely is for me), and it is starting to bug me a lot so I've really been depressed about that. I have to actually go and figure out why, and whether it's worth throwing more time and money to solve, or whether I should switch servers, or use an apache alternative (not sure is worth the learning curve, as I don't have the time for it), and so forth.

BTW please don't give me 'helpful advice' about this problem unless you want me to bite your head off, I'll ask if I want it. It'll just trigger some sort of "I really suck with optimization" inferiority right now.

As for my mental state, tired... trouble focusing on things, just plain cranky, depressed more often than not (though I did have a brief bout of decent mood/exercise before this)... meh. I don't even know if THIS post is worth posting, but it's been nearly two weeks since the last one, so here it is.